Marija Stojanovic, a psychology honors student, offers a powerful look into the often-unseen struggles of growing up with a bicultural identity in Australia. As a first-generation Serbian-Australian, Marija shares her personal journey navigating the strict traditions of her Serbian family — including a priest father — with the more relaxed values of modern Australian society. Her insights shed light on the complex interplay between cultural expectations, self-expression, mental well-being, and the pervasive impact of digital life on today’s youth.

Growing Up Between Two Worlds

Marija describes living "two completely different worlds, two completely different realities" simultaneously. Her first language was Serbian, and English wasn't allowed at home, leading to a muddled linguistic identity until a supportive teacher helped her separate the languages. This early experience foreshadowed broader cultural clashes, such as celebrating Christmas on different dates than her Australian peers, making it difficult to fully blend in. She succinctly captures this feeling:

I was too Australian for the Serbians and I was too Serbian for the Australians. So I didn't fit anywhere.

Her upbringing also involved navigating vastly different parenting styles. Serbian culture is often perceived as very traditional and strict, contrasting sharply with Australia's more easygoing approach. This led to restrictions on personal expression, like hair colors and piercings, due to religious expectations and the family's standing in the Serbian community. Marija admits to being very rebellious, stating, "I did not like being told what to do." This created significant friction within her family as she sought to forge her own identity.

Now 21, Marija has found a way to meet her family in the middle, maintaining traditions like attending church on Christmas and Easter, while asserting her personal freedoms. She acknowledges that while her parents might prefer her to be more involved with the church, she's established boundaries regarding her personal appearance and choices, leading to greater self-expression.

Psychology vs. Traditional Culture: A Core Clash

Marija, deeply immersed in psychology studies, identifies a fundamental conflict between scientific inquiry and religious faith. She explains that while religion seeks meaning in life's purpose and can provide comfort in the idea of an afterlife, psychology delves into understanding ourselves through facts and evidence. This fundamental difference creates a significant divide.

Psychology looks for the facts and it looks for evidence... and religion is more, it's more faith, which psychology does not agree with.

This clash makes her reflect on her strict upbringing. While understanding the cultural, mental health, and trauma contexts that influenced her parents' actions, she acknowledges moments where power dynamics were at play, leading to less forgiveness for certain past events. Despite differences, she identifies strongly with her mother, admiring her resilience and work ethic, but also recognizes her own fiery and headstrong traits shared with her father.

Social Media, Attention Spans, and Youth Mental Health

Marija expresses strong disapproval for the social media ban for under-16s, calling it "the biggest load of shit." She argues that such bans are ineffective, as children easily bypass them, and platforms fail to enforce them. Instead, she highlights the profound negative impact of unsupervised internet access and social media on youth. She recalls widespread exposure to disturbing content on platforms like Omegle during her generation's childhood, which was unmonitored. Marija describes the shocking reality:

Omegle, you would skip to the next person and then they would suddenly be like a 50 year old man's third leg on the screen. And that was very, very, very common. You would like every second or third skip.

This early, unchecked access to extreme content desensitized many. She believes current generations of parents, often engrossed in their own devices, are exacerbating the problem by giving children unrestricted access to screens. Marija warns about the consequences of short, fast-paced content:

Everything is so short... This is really going to affect attention spans. It's going to affect dopamine. We're going to see a whole new wave of depression and anxiety in the next generation.

She advocates for comprehensive longitudinal studies to assess the long-term damage of technology on children's brains, treating social media use as an addiction akin to alcohol or pornography dependency.

Navigating Friendships and Personal Growth

Marija reflects on the evolution of her friendships, particularly during her adolescence and early adulthood. She acknowledges having "lost a few friends along the way," all by her own decision, as she prioritized environments that were productive and not harmful. She credits her psychology degree with helping her identify unhealthy patterns and establish boundaries, leading her to cut off unproductive relationships.

Her current friend group is characterized by mutual support and accountability. She values friends who can provide honest feedback, stating:

We're very good at supporting each other, but also, you know, saying something when it needs to be said, which I appreciate.

Marija emphasizes that self-awareness alone isn't enough; true growth comes from putting in the work to change. She advises young people to trust their instincts in relationships and not to be afraid to let go of connections that no longer serve them, recognizing that some relationships are only meant to be temporary. She asserts that every person we meet serves a purpose, opening new doors and contributing to personal growth.

Advice for Bicultural Youth and Parents

For young people navigating two cultures, Marija offers caution first: "Stay safe." She warns against ignoring strict rules if it puts a child at risk, acknowledging that punishment can escalate to violence in some cultures. Her primary advice is for adolescents to use this pivotal time to develop their self-identity, preventing struggles like drug addiction that can arise from a lack of self-understanding. If she could go back, she would "speak up for myself more" and be "a little bit more curious," having previously been mentally and emotionally closed off.

She believes advice should primarily go to parents and teachers. Migrant parents, she argues, must accept that raising children in Australia means they will adopt Australian norms and values, even if they conflict with traditional ones. She stresses that violence is never an acceptable response to youthful experimentation, and urges parents to integrate with the broader community rather than remaining isolated.

Marija also highlights the issue of domestic violence in migrant communities, often normalized in their home countries but not in Australia. She advocates for more resources, particularly for first-time mothers, translated into various languages and promoted directly to communities. She also asserts that Australia needs to do more to welcome and respect migrants, combating racism that can push them into isolated community bubbles, emphasizing that such segregation avoids "the whole purpose of being in Australia."

Marija Stojanovic's Research: Music, Memory, and Neurodivergence

Marija’s honors research in psychology explores the fascinating intersection of music and memory. Specifically, she's investigating how working memory — the temporary holding and manipulation of information for decision-making, reading comprehension, and problem-solving — can be interrupted by music. She's also examining the influence of trait anxiety, a personality characteristic, on this distraction. She offers a relatable example: turning down the radio to focus while parallel parking is a practical application of working memory.

Her personal interest in neurodivergence, which extends beyond autism and ADHD to include conditions like anxiety and OCD, fuels her research. She seeks to understand how neurodivergent individuals function differently from neurotypical ones, an under-researched area. Marija's preliminary findings suggest that while lyrical music is generally hypothesized to be distracting, some participants in her study actually performed *better* with music, offering intriguing avenues for future discussion. Long-term, Marija plans to pursue a Master's in Clinical Psychology, specializing in trauma and neurodivergence, with a focus on therapies like EMDR and clinical assessment.

Frequently Asked Questions About Bicultural Identity & Youth

What are some common challenges for Serbian-Australian kids?

Serbian-Australian kids often face challenges balancing traditional Serbian cultural and religious expectations, such as strict parenting and different holiday celebrations, with the more relaxed, modern Australian values and social norms, leading to feelings of not fitting in either culture.

How does social media affect attention spans and mental health in youth?

Social media, particularly platforms with short, fast-paced content, can negatively impact attention spans and dopamine regulation, potentially leading to increased rates of depression and anxiety in the younger generation due to constant stimulation and exposure to extreme content.

What is working memory and why is it important?

Working memory is a psychological concept similar to short-term memory, but it's more interactive, allowing individuals to temporarily hold and manipulate information for decision-making, reading comprehension, and problem-solving, making it crucial for higher-order cognition.

What advice does Marija Stojanovic give to bicultural youth?

Marija advises bicultural youth to prioritize their safety, use their adolescence to figure out their self-identity, and learn to speak up for themselves. She also encourages curiosity and openness to new experiences, rather than retreating into an isolated bubble, and to trust their instincts in relationships.

How can parents of migrant backgrounds better support their children in Australia?

Parents from migrant backgrounds are encouraged to accept that their children will integrate Australian cultural norms. They should avoid violence, resolve conflicts constructively, and seek out resources to help them and their children integrate into the wider Australian community while still preserving cultural pride.

Explore Deeper Insights with Daniel Mac Sweeney

Marija Stojanovic's journey provides a profound look into the complexities of bicultural identity, mental well-being, and the digital age. To gain further valuable perspectives on psychology, culture, and social issues, visit the Daniel Mac Sweeney website at https://blokstreams.com/ and explore more insightful conversations.